Bride and Groom Torn Apart After Groom's Sister Takes Away Their Spotlight with Birthday Cake for Grandma

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jul 7, 2024 5:00 PM EDT

We all grew up watching classic Disney movies that typically end in a magical marriage, crafting aesthetic wedding Pinterest boards, and watching a slew reality TV shows throughout the years dedicated to hosting the perfect matrimonial ceremonies. The wedding day is touted as the most important day in a woman's life, the day to be the center of attention, and the day that dreams come true. It is probably quite dangerous to hold a single event to such high standards, but at the very least, it is an important day to celebrate a couple that are making a big commitment to each other. Thus, the focus of the wedding should be, first and foremost, the couple. However, if you schedule your wedding on an important date, it shouldn't come as a surprise if the wedding doesn't turn out exactly as you imagined it.

In today's story, a bride and groom picked their special date to fall right on Grandma's 80th birthday. Since Grandma came from a family where reaching this age was rare, our protagonist, sister of the groom, suggested that they bring out a cake for her towards the end of the day's festivities. The mere suggestion ended up sparking a chain of events that lead to the complete cancellation of the wedding. While most commentators admitted that the bride and groom's priorities were vastly unaligned and that a cancelled wedding was for the best in the long-run, others wondered if the couple would have worked out if our protagonist hadn't meddled on her grandmother's behalf. Read below to determine which side you're on. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheA u/Aware-Chicken5917.55d AITA for suggesting that my brother and his fiancée bring out a cake at midnight on their wedding day for our grandma's 80th birthday?
    via u/Aware-Chicken5917
  • 02
    My older brother is getting married to his partner on July 20th, a date that they agreed on in January and shared with the family. July 21st is our grandma's 80th birthday, she comes from a line of women where none of them lived past the age of 80 so it's a big deal for her and she announced last year that she wanted to go all out with a weekend long celebration.
    via u/Aware-Chicken5917
  • 03
    When my brother announced his wedding date, she was the first one to react with kindness considering he forgot all about her 80th birthday plans when deciding upon the wedding date. They had made several down payments before announcing, so there was no point in asking them to move the wedding a week before or later for grandma. And grandma wouldn't allow it. She ultimately decided to have a relaxing, lowkey Sunday dinner because my brother and his fiancée also want to have a post wedding brunch
    via u/Aware-Chicken5917
  • 04
    My mom and I got to talking and we thought it would be super fun if, at midnight, us grandkids could surprise grandma with a cake and have the band play her favorite song so we could share a dance with her. It seemed like a fun way to include such an important milestone into the celebratory weekend since she was giving up her big birthday bash in favor of the wedding. I called my brother immediately to share the idea with him and he loved it, he even came up with the idea to make the cake Englan
    via u/Aware-Chicken5917
  • 05
    That is, he loved it until he didn't, meaning until he spoke with his fiancée. He called to say the "cake deal for gran" was off and that same night I received a text from his fiancée telling me I should've checked with her first if she would be okay with it and how I was being insensitive, rude and selfish for meddling with her special day. Yes, her special day. Not my brother's special day or their special day, her special day. She really seems like a good person and we get along well despite
    via u/Aware-Chicken5917
  • 06
    I responded back by saying it was my brother's special day as well and how he was initially thrilled by the idea. I also told her I didn't appreciate her accusing me of meddling since both mom and I have fully respected the fact that she planned the entire wedding with her mom, leaving us out of the loop, despite my parents paying for a portion of the wedding. My mom was bummed about being fully excluded even though all she would've wanted was to know how everything was going.
    via u/Aware-Chicken5917
  • 07
    The wedding reception is scheduled to end at 2am, and by midnight she'll already have been the center of attention. It's not like someone is going to jump out of her wedding cake and propose to another person. My text was met with a phone call from my brother who basically told me the conversation is over as I've overstepped my boundaries. AITA? ✩ 3,076 692 D
    via u/Aware-Chicken5917
  • 08
    r/AmltheAs u/Aware-Chicken5917. 17h Update - AITA for suggesting that my brother and his fiancée bring out a cake at midnight on their wedding day for our grandma's 80th birthday?
    via u/Aware-Chicken5917
  • 09
    The wedding is off. After the conflict between me and my brother's former fiancée, which resulted in a phone call from my brother, I decided to text her 3 days later to apologize. Even though my family and the internet sided with me, I just didn't want any bad mojo or to be a SIL from My text was met with a - • lot of anger on my dad's behalf, which really surprised me because the man supports me no matter what. He was telling me how I shouldn't have been the one to apologize and he let another
    via u/Aware-Chicken5917
  • 10
    My dad was even though I was the one that was insulted, so he called my brother behind our backs and told him that he respects the fact that she will be his wife and his primary family, but how he also thinks he should've checked her for insulting me the same way he checked me for crossing a boundary. He then did what dads sometimes do best - go off with a monologue after keeping. inside for months. He told him about the additional money that he gave and he told him he wasn't convinced the that
    via u/Aware-Chicken5917
  • 11
    We then couldn't get in touch with my brother or his fiancée for almost a week. Her mom then got ahold of my work email and emailed me saying I had ruined her daughter's life. I forwarded the email to my brother and he finally called me back. He said it felt like she wanted to marry for the wedding, not for the marriage. She also admitted to making her dad ask our dad for more money so she could afford a wedding flower package she wanted that was an additional $7000, and she saw nothing wrong wi
    via u/Aware-Chicken5917
  • 12
    My relationship with my brother is still a wreck, he said he needs time because he loves her but he understands she didn't prioritize him as much as he did her. Grandma's birthday bash is back on, and we're happy for her, she's excited as heck after the initial turmoil. I miss my brother so much and it sucks knowing how heartbroken he is, but at least he's talking to my parents and he has the rest of the family as his support system. I really hope we can rebuild our relationship someday. I'm gla
    via u/Aware-Chicken5917
  • 13
    AuggieNorth 15h What about the money Dad gave former fiance's Dad for the extravagant flowers? Did he get a refund? ← Reply 45
    via u/AuggieNorth
  • 14
    Aware-Chicken5917 OP 15h • My parents originally gave a mutually agreed upon sum of money, I think it was $15k, followed by another $7k from my dad. After the wedding was called off, my brother and his ex weren't able to get refunded for a lot of things because they signed contracts which often state deposits are non refundable or only partially refundable. Some have a cancellation policy but it has to be at least 90 days before the wedding was set to be, theirs wasn't. As far as my dad is conce
    via u/Aware-Chicken5917
  • 15
    jrm1102 • 16h Sultan of Sphincter [985] Ultimately, it sounds like this is for the best and your brother dodged a bullet. Hopefully you two can repair your relationship. Reply 5.2k
    via u/jrm1102
  • 16
    EsmeWeatherwax7a • 16h Enthusiast [8] To the degree that you caused this chain of events-- and honestly if you didn't ask about the cake, someone else would have done something that the bride considered "meddling" so I don't think you did--it's a favor to your brother in the long run. It's super painful and embarrassing to call off a wedding, but divorce is worse. He got to see something he needed to see. I hope he comes to see that soon, and I hope you know you did nothing you need to regret. ←
    via u/EsmeWeatherwax7a
  • 17
    WolfGoddess77 • 16h Craptain [154] My goodness. Given how this entire situation turned into something resembling a nuclear explosion, perhaps it was best that it all came out before the wedding. It just sucks that it had to tear the entire family apart in the process. This woman sounds like an absolute piece of work. I also don't think you're the one responsible for all of this falling apart. You made a suggestion. Your brother's ex-fiancée is the one who is at fault here. Congratulations and ha
    via u/WolfGoddess77
  • 18
    Ghostthroughdays • 16h NTA a wedding flower package for 7000 $??? Reply 256 Travelchick8 • 11h Wasn't it an additional $7000. Lord knows what the actual cost was. ☆ ☆ 35 ♡
    via u/Ghostthroughdays
  • 19
    JuneauEu ⚫ 14h My grandad turned... 80? 70? I can't remember on the day of our wedding. As a part of our speeches, we brought him out a bday cake and sang! I know this is an uodate but you wete NTA for the idea at all. Reply 42
    via u/JuneauEu
  • 20
    StrangePerception135 • 14h I honestly don't understand why your brother is "sooooo angry" with you. Ultimately his fiancee was the problem. You didn't create her attitude or entitlement. I understand he's hurting but you were never the problem and his anger is definitely misplaced. I'm so sorry that you and he are struggling and hope he pulls his head out soon and stops punishing you for her behavior. Go celebrate Granny and her glorious 80th birthday. Best of luck to you! Reply 43
    via u/StrangePerception135
  • 21
    FoxySlyOldStoatyFox • 15h Partassipant [1] You are the cause of nothing. Your brother has avoided marrying a manipulative, deceitful bully whose family either enable her or who are equally dreadful. On the very slim chance you have "ruined the (non-) SIL's life" I commend you. Reply 39
    via u/FoxySlyOldStoatyFox
  • 22
    DragonScrivner • 16h Partassipant [1] Yikes on all the bikes. - Be there for your bro when he's ready to talk — he already seems to understand the wedding was happening for all the wrong reasons as far as his ex was concerned. ← Reply 60
    via u/DragonScrivner
  • 23
    blackcatsneakattack • 13h It's sweet that you wanted to do that for your grandma, but I'm genuinely curious how that's any different than a couple getting engaged or announcing their pregnancy at someone else's wedding, which this sub is very vocally against. Reply Ŵ 10 ... GoldenRedhead • 3h Maybe an unpopular opinion, but I agree. The OP meant well, but she should have asked the bride and groom before trying to plan anything. ↑ 7 ♡
    via u/blackcatsneakattack, u/GoldenRedhead
  • 24
    donttrusttheliving ⚫ 6h Am I at the only one that still thinks they could've celebrated grandma at rehearsal dinner or day after? ← Reply Ŵ7 ♡
    via u/donttrusttheliving
  • 25
    SadCakexHotNugget ⚫ 14h We only get your side of the story. To me it seems like you overstepped and this is now the result. Hopefully everyone finds hapiness in the end. jazzyx26 • 1h Reply û 11 ♡ I kinda agree that she did, yes SIL turned out to be awful and showed her true colours but she should have been consulted with too. Д 23
    via u/SadCakexHotNugget, u/jazzyx26

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